Mindful

Being mindful in our creative practice, by actively choosing to prioritize the space and time for ourselves, brings attention to our internal core. Focusing on even just one thing makes us slow down a little from the rush of everyday life. Mindful making is about more than simply stitching or knitting something beautiful it is about learning how to bring that focus or feel of attention to something (the stitch work, the pattern) in our daily lives. ~ Ellie Beck

I have been gathering inspiration from the corners (and center) of my life. Looking through old photos and works. I want to know what makes me happy about my work and my practice. How can I allow it to shift to a more sustainable pace?

Slowing down my creative practice feels weird because I’ve always worked like a buzzing bee. I enjoy buzzing about but doing that 365 is not always good for me. I know that a lot of my production anxiety came from trying to bridge the gap between my abilities and my mind…and some came from the need to self soothe through art. These are beautiful reasons fro making art. They definitely kept me focus but like I said my idea of my practice has expanded and morphed some.

I want to be more thoughtful and personal in my work. I do think scrapbooking is a way of doing that…so is creative journaling but those things are too personal for the internet. Art journaling (for me) tends to be less personal but very intimate, if that make sense. And maybe that means less sharing (of art) on the internets to allow my work to go where it needs to go. I don’t know. I am just typing.

This morning I did some stitching. Stitching is slow for me. It might be the slowest hobby that I have. It reminds me that things take time. Maybe this idea of things taking time has found its way into my other art practices. I want to take my time. I don’t want to rush to create for pictures or likes. That’s not sustainable or good.

I want to be mindful of how I spend my time and energy. I want to give myself to my own life (and communities)and not building other peoples empires or idolizing other people’s lives. But it’s so hard. Or maybe it just feels hard. It’s a complicated pickle we humans are in.

I don’t think we have to figure it out today. But we do each need to figure it out for ourselves…what is important, what are living for and about and giving our days, too and what does a good life really look and feel like(for us)?

This was suppose to be about going slow but it’s all over the place. Meandering, I suppose. Hopefully, not self-indulgent. I don’t want to give the impression I have it all figured out and you should follow me. You absolutely should not follow me…my mind is always changing. I am just asking myself…what matters…right now…I’m this place and time…in life…in creativity…what should my mind be full of?

Beauty

lately-

  • I found all my old photo editing apps
  • Blocked a few addictive websites and apps (for the time being)!
  • Pride and prejudice fan fiction makes me so happy
  • Trying to figure out where all my pens went….but seriously where are they?
  • Afternoon art dates with my oldest 🥰
  • Writing again. Slow. Steady and Messy.
  • Oil paints . Love their creaminess. Also gouache🎊
  • Making bread…and it’s actually edible and yummy🤣
  • My baby turns two next month. It feels like time is on steroids some days.
  • My cat knocking over my water cups because I never learn.

chili

I am obsessed with this chili

I made it last night in my big dutch oven that I got when I got my first apartment.

it was part of a set of pans that one of my old boyfriend’s mother’s got for me.

it was kind gesture. I just was not ready for it and neither was that situation.

I made some bad soups. I didn’t know about timing and patience.

or that

you can’t have good soup without a good foundation.

you have to cut things down, sweat things out. let things fall apart, be and come together.

blend parts and let others be chunky.

season to taste.

sometimes no matter how hard you try those elements won’t come together. so you eat what you can and throw the rest down the disposal or compost.

and that’s okay.

we keep trying.’

eventually, maybe with a lot of help , one will find a recipe that works.

or cook something else. that works, too.